omg! It's Megan!

I'm just a girl living life as she wants too, all of this shit only get's me because i let it. But i keep my chin high pushing through life, treating everyday is a new day. My life is built on false hope and regrets, but it makes me who i am.
[I live in the pits of hell deep in the country of Georgia. I am 50% Vietnamese 50%Guyanese... I'm an extremely awkward person and occasionally shy. I'm a dreamer but i have no way to full fill those dreams because of the people around me. Is it necessary to say im straight and I'm 16 years of age?]

I hate feeling numb. 

Like your so damn sad… but you can’t feel it. Which makes me feel like theres a smoke plume where my heart is. It makes me feel like i want to puke and bawl my eyes out but i cant. I cant cry my eyes out to maybe feel bad for myself for a bit then clean up and feel a tad bit better.  I’ve been like this on and off since the 8th grade. Maybe I’m clinically depressed… maybe I’m a freak.  Can someone answer this?